GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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