Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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