i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
