Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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