A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
