More tranny stories later!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That's when you crack a 10am beer
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
