they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I am one with the molecules
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
