About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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