I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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