Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
