it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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