Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
