Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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