hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
