She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
