So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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