Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
