You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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