How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Drake has all the answers
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
