the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
