they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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