I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There's always time for handjobs
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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