weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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