So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
