i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
