im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
