I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
