Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
