..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
