I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
