I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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