They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
