Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
