I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
