I showed him my bush... on skype.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
