I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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