I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
