Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
