Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
