she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
