Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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