opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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