I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
