Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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