is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
