She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
