you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
