i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
