He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
