yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
