So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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