A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I need to stop coming to work sober
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
